Want to know a little more about yourself? Then have a quick peep at this.

In Transactional Analysis (T.A.) Taibi Kahler (http://www.kahlercommunications.com/) developed a whole series of ideas that made up Process Communication. He identified five drivers that motivate you. These are imprinted on you in early childhood and can be very useful until they start to take over your life. They are:

Be Perfect

BE PERFECT

  • I must be perfect, wonderful, correct in every way.
  • I must succeed in everything I do.
  • I must get top marks and win.

The upside is that these people are

  • Hard-working, with excellent quality output.
  • May achieve great things.

The downside is that these people may suffer from

  • Fears of failure and losing control, and subsequent over-compensation.
  • Over-work. Not finishing things for fear of criticism.
  • Expecting others to be perfect too.

Be Strong

BE STRONG

  • I must be invulnerable at all times. I must not cry or show any weakness.
  • I cannot express emotions, I must help others (I do not need help myself).

The upside is that these people are

  • Good for getting things done, especially in a crisis.
  • Does not take things personally or get sucked into emotional situations.
  • Generous, always helping others before self.

The downside is that these people may become

  • Withdrawn under stress as they hold emotions in. Refuse to accept they are stressed.
  • Bottled-up emotions that may explode outwards onto others or do internal damage.
  • Can get into ‘who is the strongest’ competitions with others.
  • Expect others to be strong. Have contempt for the weak. 

Hurry Up

HURRY UP

  • Go faster. Whatever I am doing, it’s not  being done quickly enough.
  • So much to do, so little time.

    The upside is that these people

  • When given work deliver it quickly.
  • Good focus on output and delivery (when not combined with ‘try hard’).

The downside is that these people may suffer from

  • Fretting over having ‘nothing to do’.
  • Speed over accuracy.
  • Taking on too much and then complaining
  • Hassling others to do things before they are ready.

Please Others

PLEASEOTHERS

  • I must make other people happy. I know that I have done this when they acknowledge and praise me.
  • Only others can tell me when I have done well. If they do not, I have failed.
  • Other people’s happiness is more important than mine.

            The upside is that these people are

  • Comfortable working with other people. Well-liked and good company.
  • Sympathetic and concerned about others.

The downside is that these people may become

  • Anxious around others. Worrying how they are being perceived.
  • Always seek approval. Find positions of authority difficult.
  • Are unable to say ‘no’ to any request.
  • Find criticism particularly difficult when it implies they have not pleased others.
  • Worry when ignored. Easily offended (but unlikely to mention it).
  • Can get locked in mutual hugging patterns or competitive pleasing with others.

Try HardTRYHARD

  • I cannot refuse requests. I must at least try.
  • I must improve and always get better.
  • Wherever I am is not good enough.

    The upside is that these people

  • Always give of their utmost in all situations.
  • Show persistence in difficult and time-consuming situations.
  • Help others.
  • Work toward noble causes.

The downside is that these people may

  • Crave praise, but are never satisfied when it is given.
  • Find criticism very hurtful, especially for not trying enough or not considering others.
  • Effort of trying leads to physical burn-out.
  • Lots of ‘trying’ but no real result.
  • Fear of completion (run out of things to try).
  • Expecting others to try harder.

So, there you go. Now have you spotted which are YOUR main drivers? Have Fun!