There are many fantastic aspects to just how stories and words change to become more bizarre and fun than you could imagine.

For years Da Boss would happily sing to us and make us extremely happy when she sang the words to “Knocking on Heaven’s Door.”  She didn’t twig on to the fact that her version was slightly different from the one that most people knew – and it cracked us up when she happily crooned away:

“Knock, Knock, Knocking on Eddie’s door”

There were a number of these new versions of pop songs that we gradually came across and although you have probably heard of most of them, I am sure that there may be one or two new ones for you to smile at.

The Police used to sing about a news presenter called Sue Lawley – well, that was what I thought until someone pointed out that the words were actually “so lonely” and somehow the song never had the same mystique after that.

Similarly Queen used to sing “Find me someone to Lovebite”  which was highly acceptable and I was really disappointed that they just sang: 

“Find me someone to love…Find me someone to love”

Another time I heard that Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody had the line

“The algebra has a devil for a sidekick for me”  

rather than 

“Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me” – 

But perhaps one of my favourite’s is Robert Palmer’s new version of Addicted to Love.  It has much more flavour than the original lyrics
You might as well face it – You’re a dickhead to love –   

Then we move on to the clearly homo-erotic lyrics that somehow slipped by the censors.  Jimi Hendrix sings in Purple Haze about his need to express his desire for a bloke when he sings:

“‘Scuse me while I kiss this Guy”

Or Elton John had clearly found a more adventurous partner when he sang:

“Hold me close, Tie me down sir” –         Tiny Dancer

Bryan Adams had clear recollections of his early teenage years and sexual awakening when he got carried away in Summer of ’69 and sang:

“Got my first real sex dream, Had it at the five and dime.”             

And finally in this brief piece, who on earth were The Beatles thinking of when they wrote the words to Something, and included these references to cows and mother figures.  A psychologist would have a field day if he tried to analyse what was going on in the mind of someone who wrote:

“Something in the way she moos, Attracts me like no other mother.”     

With that in mind I would recommend that if you recognise any of these lyrics then you surely need to pay attention to the song by the Mammas and Papas which they assured us was:

“Medicated for the one I love”

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