I have to give my parents credit. I’m not sure quite how they did it, but they realised that Boo (That’s me by the way) and the freezing Irish Sea are not a good combination. Today when we went down to the beach they decided that it might be nicer for me to splash around in a pool of warm water, rather than suffer from hypothermia. No matter how they managed to come to this conclusion, it made for a great afternoon for everyone.

Oh and I ought to tell you that my mum is actually quite relaxed about me eating sand. But my dad well, let’s just say that I managed to scare him by eating three or four mouthfuls and then pretending to choke. Of course I was fine, but it was such fun watching him panic!

My mum and dad went out last night to celebrate something. I’m not sure what it was, but they sneaked off, leaving me with my grandparents. I was a bit worried at first, because I wasn’t sure if the old folk could cope with the responsibility, but I ade sure that things went as smoothly as possible for them.

I did just test the water with my Grandma[1], by refusing to settle down immediately. She was such a push over! All it took was a few whimpers, followed by a steady cry, getting louder and louder every thirty seconds and a bit of crawling round the cot. Out I came and managed to get another thirty minutes playtime before it was clear that she was getting tired. So I headed off to bed and was fast asleep in minutes.

Now I know that some of you might think I was being cruel, but it really gave her something to feel proud about afterwards and this morning I was extra nice to her and gave her a huge smile as soon as I saw her. I am pretty sure that she will be putty in my hands from now on.

As for grandpa, well he is such a sucker that I don’t really have to do much at all. He falls for the raised eyebrow trick every time. And I can make sure hat he will do my bidding at any time just by a big smile every now and then!

It’s amazing how simple my parents and grandparents are to manage, and the funniest thing is that they think they know better than me. They chatter amongst themselves, talking about “early stage development” and “anticipation awareness” as if they are in charge. Sure, they may be psychologists and able to work with grown ups, but when it comes to us – well, they don’t stand a chance.

All it takes is a few tears or any kind of behaviour that gets them worried and we have won. I mean, do you know anyone else who can get away with pulling hair or even biting people (especially mum) when we get bored? I wouldn’t stand for it myself, but they crumble as soon as I turn on the charm. I tell you, it’s a licence to behave badly! And then they wonder why we are so difficult to handle when we get a bit older.

It’s pretty obvious really why so many of us into trouble then and people talk about the “Terrible Two’s” as if it is our fault. Well it isn’t, we have just got you behaving like our personal slaves and then you start to change your behaviour. So, stop blaming us and talking about “a phase we are going through”. It’s YOU who is changing the rules!

Right, I had better get off now. It’s time to start getting them up. I want to go out and explore today, and they take so long to get organised that I had better things rolling. Hmm, should I fill my nappy first or just bang on the side of the cot and cry a bit to get Mum’s attention?

 

[1] She is actually called GrandJan, for future reference