I am exhausted. But fortunately I have been blessed with the ability to recharge my batteries in double quick time. Parents around the world just don’t seem to get it though. They look at each other knowingly and say things like “He’s looking tired, it won’t be long before he goes to sleep!” and then they smile happily at each other.
Yet twenty minutes later they are shocked when we suddenly come alive and alert again and can then keep going for another couple of hours. Clearly their systems just don’t regenerate like ours, or at least not nearly as quickly.
You would have thought that they would have worked it out by now. Just like the F1 cars have Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems (KERS) we have Natural Activity Preparation & Practical Intelligence Excitement Systems (NAPPIES). That means that whilst we are apparently just dozing or looking into space we are in fact supercharging ourselves for another burst of fun.
The day of my birthday celebrations started quite smoothly. Mum had been busy preparing a cake the day before, people had tasted the lovely caramel toffee filling and declared it delicious. Around noon I had my first arrivals – all four grandparents. Great stuff, but to be quite honest it was a challenge to keep them all under control. Fortunately we babies are able to spread ourselves pretty well and so I shared out lots of love and affection, remembering to keep the two grannies sweet, as they could get grumpy otherwise!
The granddads are much easier, all it takes with them is a grin and a wink and they are happy. But the grandmas always have to get a cuddle or straighten something on me. I have no idea quite what it is, but a word to the rest of you babies out there. Always keep Grandmas sweet, they are a goldmine!
We all went out for a walk later on after my Swedish uncle and aunt arrived, my English auntie has promised to see me at Christmas so I will be extra cute for her then (It’s the best way to get super presents you see). Anyway we went and looked at stuff and I had a quick power nap in the buggy to prepare myself for the best bit of the day – Present Time!
I actually had no idea quite what this involved, and to be perfectly honest I am still a little confused. All I know is that suddenly the apartment was filled with boxes and tissue paper and I kept having to unwrap stuff. I won’t bore you with too much detail but there is this brilliant bumblebee that I sit on and scoot around the apartment on. Best of all it keeps Dad fit as hell because he has to chase around after me to make sure I don’t fall off and break something. I’m not sure whether he means something of me or just something I crash into, but it is a great way to get him trained and fit anyway.
GranJan came up trumps with books and stacking cups and noisy balls to throw, so she gets a thumbs up from me. But the really neat thing is this blue cat on wheels. All you do is push it down in the middle and let go. It then shoots off across the room as if it has had it’s tail pulled. Just like my own live cat! Dad says that this may well improve the real cat’s quality of life no end, but I have no idea what he was talking about.
Then it was the birthday tea. They all sat round and stuffed their faces whilst I had my own special food and then came the cake. Now I know this was meant to be special because people had been talking about how the “First Birthday Cake lasts for ages”.
I thought they meant that the memory of it would last for ages, but it was more than that. After I had blown out the candle the cake was then cut. Well, not exactly cut. My uncle started with a small knife, then he asked for a bigger, sharper knife and then there was mention of power tools!
The cake was delicious when people eventually managed to break into it, but the greatest fun of all was watching people chewing. The caramel filling was of the “everlasting” kind and I laughed myself silly as the two grandmas tried to eat it daintily. They thought they had achieved this but my English grandfather nearly died from laughing and got a number of warning glares because of this.
In fact he had the best approach of all, he simply twisted the cake with his fingers until he broke off a big enough piece and then popped it in his mouth. Nevertheless everyone enjoyed the cake and my mum has sworn that she will never make another like it. Personally I don’t think she will have to, because there is still cake left and it will last for a long, long time!
I can confirm that it does taste nice though. Dad went into the dining room the next morning and spotted small pools of water on the floor. Then he saw me with my face covered in chocolate and toffee and with even more pools around me. Yes it was extra dribbly delicious cake! The evidence was all around me!
Well, that’s it for my first Birthday Bash. I hope you have enjoyed being kept up to date. More to come soon, after all Father Christmas is already being mentioned, whoever he is!