It’s Boo again, you know, Boo Stair walker, Master of the Universe and generally all round good guy. Anyway I thought that I would kind of round up the events of the last month.
As you might recall I have been visiting my grandparents over in another country. Actually, from what I can gather we went to two countries during my time over there, but one of them sounded like a group of large sea mammals, so I am, not exactly sure about the details.
I am now back home and am going to take a day or two to recover. You have no idea just how exhausting it can be, having to train not one, but four people at the same time. Fortunately I have my parents pretty well organised by now, so my attention was focused mainly on the other two big people.
They were pretty good on the whole, even though they were a lot slower to respond when I wanted something. I don’t know if they are just incredibly slow or old or what; but from time to time I had to put a huge amount of effort into things before I got my way. On one occasion when I was left with GranJan she even failed to come to lift me out of the cot when I was bored. Now I don’t know how things are over in your neck of the woods, but I can assure you that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable to me!
Unfortunately I forgot about complaining, because I fell asleep again and so she got away with it this time, but I shall have to keep an eye on her in any future visits. She has been superb in choosing books for me though, and I have a massive library to chew on, both here in Sweden as well as in that other country. In fact bringing back extra stuff for me made for an amusing trip back. My dad swears that he may well have developed a hernia with heaving all the bags around on our return trip.
I don’t know what all the fuss was about personally; I mean all three bags came in just under the weight limit. Fortunately I had been able to send telepathic messages to my parents to check whether I was entitled to a bag all to myself; and the airline rules did in fact allow that, so we stole another bag from my grandparents just for my extra goodies. Well, for goodness’ sakes, that’s what you do on holiday isn’t it? Buy extra things for the “special one”! (That’s ME, by the way).
The holiday has been pretty good overall, I have achieved virtually everything I set out to do. My grandparents are now well on the way to becoming doting servants, and have fallen under the spell of my beaming look. I know that GranJan is a complete sucker for that, because I have been testing her out and even if she is a little cross about me splashing food about, as soon as I turn on the charm she just laughs and tells me “how naughty I am” and laughs. Hah, those politicians could learn huge amounts from us about manipulating people if they only paid attention!
I’m not quite so sure about the bloke though, I have a sneaky feeling that he has worked out that I may not be quite as innocent as I appear. Fortunately I have fooled him into scribbling stuff for me so I will just have to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t spill the beans too widely. I can always pretend that I don’t know what the heck is going on and do wide-eyed look No. 5; that is always a winner!
Now, you may recall that straight after my triumphant ascent of the stairs I was absolutely hammered and went to bed and slept like a log. My parents thought that this was such a good thing that they had me doing the same thing the next day. There was hushed muttering about “Wearing him out” and “Full night’s sleep” and all that kind of stuff. Suckers!
One thing you should never do is alert us to the fact that you are trying to pull a fast one on us little ones, we really don’t like being taken for mugs. And I do promise you, that our revenge is swift.
However I did have a lot of fun stair walking and generally “eeling” along the corridors. But parents have absolutely no idea about how quickly we learn how to do things and then how we use less and less energy to repeat them. That meant that even though I did another complete ascent of the stairs I was nowhere near as tired the second time.
All may have been well for them if they hadn’t tricked me a little later, which was when revenge became essential. You see I had been sitting happily in my highchair waiting for some mashed banana after my stair exploits and then I noticed lots of other activity. Mum wasn’t just focused on me; she was busy with hot water and white powder and all kinds of other stuff.
Bowls kept being shown around and people kept saying things like “Not big enough;” or “Too big, we need something an inch bigger than his foot”. Now. I’ll be honest I was much more interested in the banana that GranJan was feeding me when suddenly I felt a horrid, cold goo all over my left foot. I ignored it and showed GranJan how to blow bubbles with bits of banana in them. Then suddenly the other foot was covered in something cold and gloopy!
By now I had just about finished the banana so I did show my disapproval. I don’t know quite how they are going to get the last of the banana off the ceiling and cat, but that’s their problem!
I certainly got their attention though, and I will admit that it did put me in a good mood when it was clear that I was back where I should always be – right at the centre of their minds. I will also admit to being a bit of a sucker myself when Mum does the cuddling and cooing. I know she means well and does get things wrong from time to time, but when she gives me that Mummy hug I have to forgive her absolutely everything.
Nevertheless I kept my wits about me and watched what they were up to with the gloopy stuff. After a short time they poured quick setting concrete or something into the pink goo and then a little later they broke everything apart and there was a perfect copy of my feet. My heart went cold! They had measured me for a set of concrete overshoes. My American/Italian friends have told about these so I am clearly going to have to be on my best behaviour unless I want to “sleep with the fishes”.
That has now made me wonder about our visit to the seaside, in that country with a name like those big sea mammals I mentioned before. I am clearly going to have to monitor things more closely. You know what I mean, after all – Sea; Whales; Concrete Overshoes – it’s all a bit too much of a coincidence. On the other hand I am growing so quickly at the moment that the moulds they have taken are going to be far too small within a very short space of time. They have missed their chance and I am on my guard.
Well, that’s all for now. I will get round to giving you a summary soon. I think that I have made a good start on training the old ones, but they will need a topping up session soon. I’ll let you know when that happens.
Take it easy, and beware the sneaky fitting for concrete overshoes – I got away with it, but just stay alert OK?