Great News Guys. I have just heard that it is almost time to get GranJan up to speed once more.

She and her driver are coming over to see me and my little sister Lolly (Yes of course that’s a nickname and not her real one, but that’s what I call her, so get used to it!)

Anyway, the important thing is that it is time to get ready for the next training sessions for GranJan and so I have been communicating pretty much on a daily basis with my accomplice over in England. You know the one I mean, he sends out most of my blogs because it is easier to get it past the censors that way.

Censors?? Yes, of course there are censors. Mum and Dad to be more accurate, but by simply transmitting my words through to my assistant in England I am able to carry on the essential work of getting the message out there. I mean, if it wasn’t for me, how else would other babies and younger people learn how to train their parents and grandparents properly!

It might not seem that important to you, but there are loads of my younger readers who really need the hints and tips I can pass on. I think of it as being an essential service that certainly saves a lot of time and hassle for my true audience.

But, back to the news. As I said GranJan is due over here in less than a week and so I have been preparing a schedule for her. It is pretty comprehensive and includes lots of things for her to do even before she gets here.

Now Mum and GranJan seem to be focused on clothes for me and Lolly, but quite frankly that is utterly boring. They go on about “How cute” things are. When are they going to learn that we kids don’t really care. Much more important are the books and other things that I need to keep me going.

To be fair GranJan has done a pretty fair job so far. I know this because apart from anything else there are always moans from GranJan’s servant. You know, the guy who keeps going on and on about the weight of the bags and cases he has to carry.

I don’t know what the problem is quite frankly. I mean he should be grateful that I have included him in a series of proper exercises and he doesn’t even need to join a Gym in order to get his weight training! Besides which, GranJan is always mentioning his laziness, so I think I am doing them both a favour by encouraging the bringing of books and toys from Britain.

It also means that they can be a little smug and say that they are a key part of the process by which my sister and I are truly bi-lingual. I mean, if they want me to speak English then they have to build up my vocabulary, don’t they?

Anyhow, so far I have managed to get the message about books across pretty well. My spy in Britain informs me that once again he is due to be heaving and straining with over ten pounds of books for me alone. Good Job GranJan!

But even more exciting is some mystery stuff that even he has been forbidden to mention. It must be pretty good, because none of my usual interrogation techniques have worked and he just grins and makes a zip like motion across his lips when I push him.

I am not sure quite what hold GranJan has over him, but it must be pretty darned powerful, because usually he is a sucker for telling me stuff. All that I have been able to glean is that it is something to do with the Easter Bunny.

Now because I am both young (just two and a half) and live in Sweden I am not too sure quite what all the fuss and excitement is about. I will let you guys know as soon as I do find out, so don’t worry too much.

OK I will leave you at his point because I have to grab a quick nap and start my planning proper for the next week and a bit. If I am going to organise the latest training schedule properly I will have to work out how many new things the grandparents can take on board. So, until the next time – remember to pace your Grandparent training!