Now I’m not sure whether this is a rant or just the reality that happens to be mine.  I am sure that this doesn’t happen to everyone, after all there are some people who just have that happy knack of avoiding problems and who skate through life without a care in the world.

I do envy them, but not completely. You see, if it weren’t for these moments of conflict then I would have little or nothing to write about.  That might not allow you to nod and tut under your breath when you actually share the same experiences as I do from time to time.

So. What is it that has got to me this time?  Quite simply can anyone tell me why it is that when you arrive in a car park and there are quite a few empty spaces that when you return to your car you find someone has parked within inches of your door?

If it happened just once in a while then I would put it down to a random incident.  If I chose to park as close as possible to my destination then I would assume that it was just the popularity of that spot. If the car park was full to the brim then I would just shrug and accept that any parking space was fair game – even for a hopeless driver such as the idiot who had managed to park so badly that they have six feet on their side and I have six inches to try to squeeze myself into my car!

As you can see I am trying to be as reasonable as possible on this topic. Why? Because I am actually hopping mad and would quite happily strangle the next idiot who subjects me to this kind of challenge in the future.

Why is that?  Because I always try to be as fair as possible and also because I regularly look for a parking space some way away from the supermarket where this kind of thing usually happens.  What is more I always try to find a space where there is room on both sides, so that if there is a passenger then they too are not inconvenienced by other people’s parking skills – or lack of them!

So it was that when I nipped into the local supermarket yesterday I carefully selected a parking space well away from the store and with plenty of spaces around.  Yes, the car park was not particularly busy and I was only picking up a few bits and pieces so it was a quick ‘in and out’ type shop.

Less than ten minutes later I came back to the car and Voila! There was another one parked so close that I thought the two cars had been joined at the hip.  There was barely enough room to move between the cars let alone open a bloody door.  Not only that, but they had managed to park at an angle so that any attempt to manoeuvre out was going to take not a little skill and judgement.

The air was blue, well it would have been if it had been warm enough for me to stand around, but a chilly wind meant that there was no time to hang about and so began the thankless task of trying to get into the driver’s seat from the passenger side.

Unfortunately I drive a slightly sporty car and so bench seats and easy access are way down the list of possibilities. The fact that I am not a slender double jointed limbo dancer also posed me a few problems as I cursed and wormed my way from one side of the car to the other.

Eventually I got into the driver’s seat and then started the hunt for my keys.  Now I have absolutely NO IDEA WHY this happens, but as soon as the normal rhythm of life is interrupted then everything goes to hell in a handcart.

I always put my keys back in my right hand side pocket. This is a lesson I have learned after numerous panic attacks about lost keys in the past and so I have adopted the same place for keys routine for a number of years.  This time they weren’t there though.  More foul language followed as I contemplated the prospect of having to work my way back out of the car avoiding the gear stick, which I have to say, is positioned in just the wrong and most painful place you can imagine.

That was however when the Gods took mercy on me and let me realise that I had put them on the seat under me and so we were all saved the humiliation and anger that would have ensued.

This is not the worst case that I have been involved in. On one occasion in another car I actually had to slide in through the sunroof because of the mad parking of driver next to me, but that is another story.

I know that I am getting grumpier by the day, but please do me and every other driver in the world a favour. The next time you park why not actually put your car into a space where your door opens onto another driver’s door. It might mean reversing into a space, but that way you stand a chance of letting both of you get in and out of your cars without all this hassle.

Bristol Airport copy

Does that make sense?  Or am I simply still mad enough to hope for a moment of thought before people go blithely on their way without a moment’s forethought for the other car drivers?

In the meantime I shall be busily parking right next to static objects that cannot move to impede me when it is time to get back into the car!